My GAD Diagnosis and Prescriptions

I was eventually diagnosed with GAD – Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  There came a time in my early twenties when my panic attacks took a turn for the creepy.  They morphed into something a lot more twisted and alarming to me and I really couldn’t deal.

What was happening to me occurred almost every night around the same time – 3am.  I would wake up in sheer terror and think that my hands were huge.  That’s right, I would hold my hands out in front of my face and see them as two monstrous balloon-like appendages that didn’t belong to me.  This would cause me to jump out of bed onto my completely numb legs.  That was another issue… my legs would be completely asleep, so I would usually fall.  One night I hyper-extended my knee so bad that I thought my leg broke in half.  What a wreck.  This happened so often that you would think I would have eventually gotten used to it and not have been so scared.  But, I don’t think I was fully awake when this happened.  Since it was 3am, I was so out of it and probably still half asleep.  In any case, I needed help because that was too weird to let go on.


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GAD Diagnosis

Needless to say repeating the above scenario ever is pretty humiliating.  Now I am old enough to just own it, but back then I was so embarrassed.  The doctor that I went to basically just said that I had GAD – Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and that I needed medication to help it.  Since my anxiety was flaring up even in my sleep, and not just from stressful situations, it had to be a chemical imbalance in my brain causing it.  He prescribed Paxil and Xanax.

This was the beginning of my Xanax addiction.

I started off taking the recommended dosage of both drugs.  (I never abused the Paxil.)  It didn’t take me long to see how well the Xanax worked.  I didn’t know how addictive it could be and I did not do any research on it.  I just took it… and took it some more…


  1. Wow, that must have been really scary! I can only imagine, its so good to hear that you mustered up the courage to find out why this was happening! I am looking forward to reading your post about Xanax too!

  2. I’ve been struggling with the same thing for years. I finally got a doctor in my area and am getting help. I’m starting Ativan sublingual…have you tried that one?

    • No, I haven’t! Never heard of that actually. I have been on nothing for over 5 years, but it’s rough!! I will have to look into that.

  3. Its Ativan but it dissolves under your tongue and apparently works within 90 seconds.

  4. I started having anxiety attacks after my twins were born almost 6 years ago. I’m sure I had issues with it before then but the twins were the last straw. Actually it was more every time my husband was leaving for work and I was going to be home alone with the twins and my oldest that I would go into full panic attack mode. It was awful. I was given Xanax but didn’t like it. I have been taking Effexor for years now. With the help of the doctor, I am going to try to start weaning off of it this year. Waiting for the “right time” though…is there? 🙂

    • Wow, Jodi… I cannot imagine dealing with twins. I am sure that would make anyone’s lingering anxiety flare up! You are right, too… there’s never a good time to go off meds!!! You will be fine, though. Eventually you will be glad not to have to take something every day! <3


  1. […] My doctor started me out on a low dose, but I gradually increased it on my own.  When each pill would start to wear off I would feel my skin begin to crawl.  Everything would get tingly and I would become antsy and irritable.  So, I would pop another one.  The times in between these periods grew closer and closer.  After five years, I was up to taking at least 30 pills a day… […]

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